“Who on Earth Is Tom Baker?”

Eight actors have played the title role on Doctor Who, Britain’s decades-old time-travel series, yet the fourth, Tom Baker, is still the most famous and beloved. Just as the most Trek-ignorant tv viewer knows who Mr. Spock is, so does Baker’s unforgettable appearance–thick brown curls, floppy hat, long coat, and enormous striped scarf–stir a vague recollection, even among the jaded and uninitiated. Many factors contributed to Baker’s popularity (besides the costume), including excellent writing, strong supporting acting, and the fact that he played the part so damn long (seven years, a generation in television terms). But the true magic of the Fourth Doctor was Baker’s own. No-one captured the essential alien-ness of the character as he did, or suggested so much of the strange depths to be found in this 700-year-old Time Lord’s brain.

Baker inhabited a scene with a physical presence completely unlike that of anyone else. As Jeremy Brett would later do with Sherlock Holmes, he depicted genius as a kind of impairment, as if the Doctor’s brain ran too hot and too fast, its energy spilling over and sparking the tantrums, fusillades of sarcasm, and stony meditativeness that all served to distance him from those around him. Many of Baker’s fans (including this one) have suspected that weirdness on such a baroque scale could not be merely the product of the actor’s craft. Surely something deep within the man himself informed all those strange jokes and abrupt silences?

You don’t know the half of it. Baker’s autobiography, entitled Who on Earth Is Tom Baker?, is an eye-watering litany of suffering, embarrassment, bad decisions, and unbearable self-loathing; in fact, of all the biographies I have read, auto- or otherwise, only Charlie Chaplin’s begins in greater misery or maintains such a fever pitch of self-doubt and unhappiness. Yet, whereas Chaplin saw his life as tragedy (with a happy ending tacked on), Baker sees his for the picaresque that it is. The book is packed with witty asides—he describes his father noisily sipping tea as sounding “like pebbles being shoveled into a zinc wheelbarrow”—and steeped in a lacerating humor that its author turns on others as freely as he turns it on himself.

The hilarity starts in an Irish neighborhood of war-torn Liverpool, where Tom Baker was born and where, as a boy, he prayed that his mother would be killed by a falling bomb on her way home from work, so that, like Liverpool’s other war orphans, he might be showered with gifts and toys from America. The supreme being denied him this favor, yet this didn’t stop Baker from deciding that the religious life was for him. There was little else open to this gangly, repressed misfit: “The main thrust of a Catholic education all those years ago was self-loathing. The more you despised yourself the better you were … [I had a] feeling of self-loathing and a desire to be a slave to someone, anyone, as long as he knew what life was about and didn’t mind if you were thick.” At the age of 15, after years of dutiful altar boy service and general religious brown-nosery, he entered a monastery.

There were no beatings, no fire-and-brimstone sermonizing: just long hours of work, prayer, meditation, and endless, agonizing solitude. The novices were forbidden to make friendships, to laugh or converse idly, and the rule of modesty prevented them from so much as raising their eyes to each other; only once did Baker succeed in looking one of his fellow novices in the face. After nearly six years, half-mad with loneliness and filled with a gnawing itch to break all ten commandments (“Especially I had the urge to kill, steal and bear false witness”), he left the order.

Years of living in such self-abnegating solitude gave Baker an awkwardness around people which he never entirely lost. He completed his compulsory two-year stint in the Army without having made a single friend, and entered into a short-lived, disastrous marriage with a wealthy heiress with whom he had nothing in common and whose family despised him. Fortunately there was one avenue left to him. His performance in an Army theatrical led a fellow actor to offer encouragement: “‘[Y]ou’re terrible at the moment, absolutely bloody terrible, but there’s something in you that might make it work if you can find anyone to give you a chance.” Many did give him a chance, including Laurence Olivier, who took him into the prestigious National Theater company, where Baker played small parts and understudied big ones. His successes were modest, like those of most struggling actors, and he was supplementing his income by laboring on building sites when the BBC invited him to audition for Doctor Who. Continue reading

In Memory of a Dozen Friends

Like millions of other people, I lost a dozen of my best friends over the weekend. I had known they were going, of course; long years of declining health showed on their features. They were tired and had been with me a long time and I’d begun to feel that maybe it was time to let them go. Yet the ending came as a shock all the same.

A scant few months after announcing he would no longer write and draw “Peanuts,” Charles Schulz died of a heart attack Saturday, just as his final comic strip was rolling of the presses of the more than 2,000 newspapers that carried it. We’d been prepared to see the characters leave, but there was always hope — Schulz was confident that the cancer that had forced his retirement would subside, allowing him to work on the screenplays he’d been planning, and by which he hoped to bring Charlie Brown and the rest back to the screen.

Now that last hope is gone. We’re left with what we began with: the dozens of “Peanuts” books that have remained in print for nearly five decades, and the best way to introduce any reader to Charlie Brown’s sad yet optimistic world. These were among the first books I remember reading, certainly the first books I ever came to love. The boys’ fiction I grew up with was giddy, preposterous fun, adventure tales of children in space or traveling through time or saving their towns from bank robbers. “Peanuts” was the first time I and many others of my generation recognized ourselves in print. I was the bespectacled Linus, naive and insecure and tormented by an older sister, and I was Snoopy, a backyard adventurer with an imagination powerful enough to make reality an irrelevant detail. I was bossy, arrogant Lucy — to be that confident, even for a day! — and simple, sedate Marcy, as loyal and steadfast a friend as you could hope for.

And I was Charlie Brown, but then, we all were Charlie Brown. Anyone who doesn’t know exactly how Charlie Brown feels when, walking home after another walloping on the baseball field, he wonders “How can we lose when we’re so sincere?” has been living a coddled, spoiled life. Bad things happen to people who don’t deserve them in the slightest, and most of us have felt like we’ve received far more than our share of bad luck from time to time. Too bad. Though Charlie Brown’s team suffered the most humiliating defeats in baseball history, he kept going; he never forfeited a game. You can either complain about it and give up, or get back on the mound and keep pitching.

If there’s a heaven for cartoon characters, I hope Schroeder loosens up and gives Lucy a big wet kiss; I hope Linus gets to enjoy a quiet moment with his blanket, without fear of reprisal by older sisters, hyperactive beagles, or vengeful blanket-hating grandmothers; I hope Peppermint Patty gets an A on a term paper she spent fifteen minutes writing. And like everyone else, I hope Charlie Brown finally gets to kick the football.

We’ll never see it happen now, but maybe that’s OK. Deep down, Charlie Brown knows winning isn’t everything. When he asked Linus why he bothered playing day after day, dragging himself and his frail hopes to the mound despite the full certainty of getting his ass kicked, he replied, “Probably because it makes you happy.” It’s a theme that applied to all of these terminally frustrated characters, whether it was Lucy and her unrequited crush on Schroeder or Snoopy’s unending failure to shoot down the Red Baron. Maybe that’s why the strip, despite its sadness, always made us smile; maybe that’s why I always thought of the “Peanuts” gang as kids I would want to know. And maybe that’s why saying goodbye to them is so sad.

February 14, 2000